A 28-year-old St Elizabeth man lost his life in a freak accident on Tuesday. The incident occurred when a weed wacker, utilised for lawn maintenance, inadvertently flung a piece of binding wire through the air, tragically striking Derval Baker's skull just above his right ear.
It's alleged that the praedial prototype, who's IQ was less than the average islander's lifespan, was coherced by a jewish merchant from the Hunts Bay area into purchasing the mechanized weed eater based upon being told (by the jew) that the sound of Caribbean waves can be heard in the reciprocal hub of the wacker if held close to the ear, similar to that of a "conch shell".
Police are currently looking for a jew that operates under the business name of "THE HAPPY MERCHANT".
The Spanish Town office of the constabulary are currently distributing flyers of an artist's conception of the (((mercantile joker))) suspected of duping the unsuspecting low IQ landscaper technician who's genial background consists of indentured servitude and praedial status dating back to the Atlantic Slave Trade which was initiated by the (((West Indies Trading Company))) in the early 1700s.
A statement issued by Srgt Tyrone Brown yesterday, whilst in the process of pleasuring himself inside his department issued vehicle that was recently upgraded with flashing lights and being in plain view of church goers, according to "twenty score and four" family members, does not go far enough and stops just short of guaranteeing reparations, rather monetary compensation, for the jewish complicity in the death of their good little nigger brother.
Stay tuned as this story is in the developing stages.
Zyklonbeekeeper 0 points 1.3 years ago
Noted @icemonkey...reality can be funny you know