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Been sober since the 18th of Dec.

submitted by Phoenix_Right to whatever 5 monthsJan 8, 2024 20:32:30 ago (+48/-0)     (whatever)

Title.

Been sober since the 18th. Felt a lot better recently. In particular, I've had a lot more mental clarity and focus to the point where my fiancée and family have noticed a change. Some of them, especially my brother, resent me for a lot of things I did while I drank heavily. I don't blame them at all; in retrospect, I was absolutely unhinged while I was drinking like that. It needed to stop, and I'm glad I have.

I've been to a couple of AA meetings, and I have mixed thoughts on them. On the one hand, I met an older guy who has been sober for over 44 years. That worked for him, and if that's what it took, good on him. I feel out of place at those meetings, almost like I'm going through the motions without complete dedication toward what they accomplish. Sure, I want to have more control over myself - and it seems it's working - but there's a certain kind of mindset at those meetings I have a hard time accepting.

Admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol is the main hurdle for me. To me, I should work toward mastery over all things that would harm myself or others, and work to achieve a balance with them. Admitting complete defeat is foreign to me, but I could also be unreasonably stubborn in this regard. It wouldn't be the first time that's been the case in my life.

Not sure how to keep going from here. Anyone have experience with AA or recovering from alcohol abuse? I could use some advice.


61 comments block

Congratulations! It is a tough journey. But here's what I know that can maybe help. There is a period of around 21 days to 30 days when you first quit anything, including even medications. It's uncomfortable to say the least. Anger, bor3dom, frustration and anxiety its awful. But just know that one mor I g you will wake up and it will be gone. The yucky feelings that are happening daily right now will vanish. Now here's the important advice. It's easy to stay sober, until you have a very bad day. When that happens, your natural addict ways will automatically drive you toward your feel better right now mindset. It's like oh I know exactly how to make this bad day get better. Especially if it's a very very bad day. Bad news, you know. That is what causes relapses. It's because addicts deal with pain and strife and stress with substance. We usually don't k ow any other way to deal. Just make sure when the bad day comes that you remember that you're going to be extra vulnerable and try to find a different way to cope. You'll see what I mean when it comes around. It could ruin anyone even if they're sober for a long time so beware. Be strong. Dealing with life sober is tough when bad days happen. Smooches