Been sober since the 18th. Felt a lot better recently. In particular, I've had a lot more mental clarity and focus to the point where my fiancée and family have noticed a change. Some of them, especially my brother, resent me for a lot of things I did while I drank heavily. I don't blame them at all; in retrospect, I was absolutely unhinged while I was drinking like that. It needed to stop, and I'm glad I have.
I've been to a couple of AA meetings, and I have mixed thoughts on them. On the one hand, I met an older guy who has been sober for over 44 years. That worked for him, and if that's what it took, good on him. I feel out of place at those meetings, almost like I'm going through the motions without complete dedication toward what they accomplish. Sure, I want to have more control over myself - and it seems it's working - but there's a certain kind of mindset at those meetings I have a hard time accepting.
Admitting that I'm powerless over alcohol is the main hurdle for me. To me, I should work toward mastery over all things that would harm myself or others, and work to achieve a balance with them. Admitting complete defeat is foreign to me, but I could also be unreasonably stubborn in this regard. It wouldn't be the first time that's been the case in my life.
Not sure how to keep going from here. Anyone have experience with AA or recovering from alcohol abuse? I could use some advice.
My sister tried AA, didn't care for the heavy Christian side of it, then tried NA instead. Not only did that work for her, but she's gone on to counsel many others with all sorts of addictions. It has become her life's work, helping others helps her, and I'm happy for that.
I quit by spending an all nighter deep diving my medical lab reports from my previous stay in the hospital. I looked up every word I didn't understand, chased many rabbits down side holes trying to grasp what was wrong with me. By the time the sun came up, it was clear that I had been systematically poisoning myself for decades, and I quit right then, full stop. I haven't touched a drop since that night, and would probably get nauseated if I did. My mind recovered faster than anything. Even with all the bullshit going on in the world right now, I'm not angry all the time like I used to be. My body is coming along a bit slower, I damaged it pretty good, but it's getting there. There's no way I can ever go back.
thebassdude 4 points 1.3 years ago
My sister tried AA, didn't care for the heavy Christian side of it, then tried NA instead. Not only did that work for her, but she's gone on to counsel many others with all sorts of addictions. It has become her life's work, helping others helps her, and I'm happy for that.
I quit by spending an all nighter deep diving my medical lab reports from my previous stay in the hospital. I looked up every word I didn't understand, chased many rabbits down side holes trying to grasp what was wrong with me. By the time the sun came up, it was clear that I had been systematically poisoning myself for decades, and I quit right then, full stop. I haven't touched a drop since that night, and would probably get nauseated if I did. My mind recovered faster than anything. Even with all the bullshit going on in the world right now, I'm not angry all the time like I used to be. My body is coming along a bit slower, I damaged it pretty good, but it's getting there. There's no way I can ever go back.