Th guy is an absolute asshole to say the least. On the other hand i feel like my gf is taking what he said wayyyy too seriously. Anyways, my pastor mentioned a few things today that made me cringe inside, like badly.
I come from a very broken family. Mom was a drug addict, alcoholic, verbally and physically abusive piece of trash. My dad was the enabling type who would watch and blame me in the process because clearly im always to blame. We got blamed for everything: financial problems, marital problems, etc. My mom literally molested one of our sisters because she was bored. So the topic came up of honoring parents and that i need to honor them at all cost. I started getting very irritated at the guy, because it's one thing to honor and forgive, its another to hold yourself directly in the line of fire to prove a point.
The second thing is he equated me drinking a beer here and there or being emotional vulnerable due to the abuse i had to endure to being some kind of drunk, mentally deficient suicidal maniac. I did NOT appreciate him saying this in front of my gf, and its very clear he came into this meeting with an agenda to destroy us. He pretty much hinted i was some kind of drunk, even though I barely touch the stuff. At the time I may have had a sampler here and there, and that was about it. Followed usually by very long (multiple months at a time) periods of no drinking at all.
Anyways, he is now my ex pastor for all the damage he did, and his views. If his views are normalized across most churches, which i think they are, then its no wonder institutional churches are losing so many members. And my gf is very upset over what she heard.
Honoring your abusive wicked parents doesn't obligate you or any child to tolerate the wickedness of their parents or endure their abuse. It means you must strive to accept, overcome, and understand the pain and trauma of that abuse to be a better person, so you don't live a life of wickedness yourself or impart that abuse upon your future children.
Additionally, forgiving them doesn't oblige you to leave yourself exposed to receive more abuse from them either. Caring about someone doesn't necessarily require that you care for them. You can advocate on behalf of your parents, without being their care giver.
If your pastor isn't communicating these subtle distinctions in his sermons or in discussions then he's likely not smart enough to consider many other abstract concepts in other situations of discussion and must be kept at arms length. He may not be grievously malformed in his faith, but in fact simply a mid-wit, so profoundly stupid that the phrase don't talk to the police requires such advice include a lengthy explanation as provided in the video link, because he's the sort of bumbling moron who would blanket apply that phrase to any circumstances in which he might have to deal with police, so as calling 911.
carnold03 0 points 1.8 years ago
Honoring your abusive wicked parents doesn't obligate you or any child to tolerate the wickedness of their parents or endure their abuse. It means you must strive to accept, overcome, and understand the pain and trauma of that abuse to be a better person, so you don't live a life of wickedness yourself or impart that abuse upon your future children.
Additionally, forgiving them doesn't oblige you to leave yourself exposed to receive more abuse from them either. Caring about someone doesn't necessarily require that you care for them. You can advocate on behalf of your parents, without being their care giver.
If your pastor isn't communicating these subtle distinctions in his sermons or in discussions then he's likely not smart enough to consider many other abstract concepts in other situations of discussion and must be kept at arms length. He may not be grievously malformed in his faith, but in fact simply a mid-wit, so profoundly stupid that the phrase don't talk to the police requires such advice include a lengthy explanation as provided in the video link, because he's the sort of bumbling moron who would blanket apply that phrase to any circumstances in which he might have to deal with police, so as calling 911.