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I dumped out my canoe about a mile off shore in the gulf of Mexico. That water is fuckin cold right now. I lost my phone and my wallet. I'm currently a man with no name. I bought a new phone, but that other shit has to wait.

As a side note; it's no small task to right a canoe in chin deep water. I was bordering on hypothermia when I finally made it home, soaking wet and cold as a witches tit.