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Web, an earnest and somewhat reserved member of the Jewish Internet Defense Force, attended his nephew Ari’s bar mitzvah with a sense of duty and pride. The event was a special occasion, and Web had come to celebrate with his family. Seated next to his cousin Noam, he tried to enjoy the gefilte fish despite an unsettling cramp in his stomach.

As the rabbi approached the table, ready to perform the ceremony, Web’s discomfort reached its peak. In a moment of unfortunate and uncontrollable mishap, Web sharted directly in the rabbi's face. The room fell silent in shock, the festive atmosphere evaporating in an instant. The rabbi’s face turned from shock to anger as he hastily excused himself, leaving the bar mitzvah incomplete.

The family, thrown into disarray, was left to grapple with the embarrassing scene. Whispers and stares followed Web as he retreated from the chaos, his mortification compounded by the strained silence of his relatives.

Returning to his kibbutz apartment, Web was engulfed by a deep, painful sense of failure and shame. He buried his anguish in Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, shoveling it into his mouth with reckless abandon as he watched Oprah on television. The show, meant to offer comfort and distraction, only deepened his sense of isolation.

This incident, though devastating, spurred a transformation in Web. Fueled by a profound sense of guilt and a desperate need for redemption, he threw himself into his work at the Jewish Internet Defense Force with renewed intensity. Despite his heightened commitment, the shadow of that day lingered. The public embarrassment and personal turmoil had left a mark on Web’s life that, despite his professional fervor, he could never quite escape.

@MasterSupressionTechnique

I decided to make a great breakfast today


It began with my weekly bacon cook. I like to cook bacon at the beginning of the week because it keeps well and the logistics of disposing grease every day sucks. Pre cooked tastes like ass as well

I then fried some potatoes in the bacon fat until they were golden brown. After that, I cooked 3 eggs scrambled. All this seasoned with salt and pepper.

You're probably thinking "eggs , bacon and potatoes. Nothing special about that!"

Well, that's where you're WRONG. I had some brisket in the fridge from this weekend's smoke. This particular beauty turned out absolutely perfectly as I found a new secret - add ghee (clarified butter) after wrapping!!! Really turned up the moisture and made it so juicy.

Anyhow, I plated as follows: eggs followed by potatoes, then slices of smoked brisket, 2 straps of bacon and a whole avocado on the side with some salsa!

Oh man this was good, words cannot adequately describe how well all this went together. This is a last-meal quality breakfast for someone who is into savory foods and can take or leave sugars.

If this gets 25 upvotes I'll post a picture

Lockhart texas is an absolute must visit for anyone who loves barbecue. The origins of texas barbecue are fairly simple - the cooking style was born out of necessity and literally perfected by German engineers.

Prior to widespread colonization, the Spanish dropped a few dozen cows off at Port Lavaca. Upon returning to Texas many years later, the Spanish found these cows had multiplied into thousands. Due to numerous crop failures, beef soon became the main and sometimes only staple of the early colonists.

While tejano barbecue is recognized on its own merits, the barbecue we know today as traditional texas started with the German immigrants of the 1800s. Many of them came at the behest of the Mexican government providing incentives for western colonization in the vast lands of Texas. The Germans brought with them traditional meat smoking methods which soon became a big hit.

Not wanting to leave anything alone, the Germans soon began designing different types of smokers, envisioning a more wood efficient method of cooking that could produce a better end product. This smoker functions by burning wood in a box that is offset from the main cooking chamber. As the smoke travels upwards, it heats the cooking chamber and provides a convective effect. This cooking method became so popular that it has become ingrained in the very culture of Texas.

Anyone who wants to try some traditional texas barbecue, Kreutz market in lockhart still cooks on direct heat smokers reminiscent of the original methods before offset cooking. I have tried it and found it to be excellent.

The original blacks in lockhart used to be the go to place, but due to some family drama involving a lawyer family member manipulating the old king on his death bed, I can't recommend it. Fortunately, the family members scorned by his actions started Terry Black's barbecue which carries on the legacy. They use the German invented offset smokers and you can even take a tour of the pits and speak with the pit masters themselves.

Amazing machines. I have done some contract work in the engines but honestly the engine is the least of what makes these beasts so incredible. The literal centuries of improvements resulting in an efficient and effective mode of transporting goods is truly a testament to the white race.

I don't believe I've ever seen nigger conductors or operators. They're probably in the office admin or on the track maintenance crews. Only a white man can handle these powerful machines.

Dogs should be low maintenance animals that serve a purpose. Dogs exist at our convenience and are not there for emotionally sensitive fucks to tether to them.

Do not bring your dog to costco.

Do not bring your dog to the fuckin bar.

Keep your dog out of the car.

Walk your dog.

Bring your dog to the dog park.

But keep your fuckin dog to yourself literally any other time.

Thanks

Timothy McVeigh came to the same conclusion