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I just got a flash of random access memory. It was my twelth birthday, and my buddy's mom had taken us out to eat at some wacky restaurant to celebrate. She told the waitresses it was my birthday, so at the end of the meal they brought dessert and sang that infernal song. At the end of the song, two of the waitresses kissed me on the check. I later found out that my buddy's mom paid them to do that. So yeah, that was my first experience with prostitutes.

Maybe later I'll share my second, it's a doozy.