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I have two cats, and I give them a small handful of crunchy treats every night. I got them conditioned to eat them one at a time from my hand. My new thing is to say "body of Christ" every time I give them one. My wife hates it, but I think it's hilarious. We were both raised Catholic and she still holds on to a lot of that. I'd like to think God has a sense of humor though, I mean look at the comedy gold that is down syndrome.

My sister just sent me pictures of my niece in her PJ's telling me it was pajama day at school. Her daughter is four. What fuckin freak wanted to watch a bunch of young children run around in their bed clothes. I told her that shit's fucked but she doesn't get it. Fucks goin on here?

Ask a team of poorly trained experts whatever you want

There's been a big native advertising campaign for the company zyn, and I fell for it. To give a little context, I was smoking about a pack and a half a day. I'm down to a pack every four days.

The feeling of these pouches with nicotine salts are radically different than cigarettes. I've noticed improved focus, less stress, and less overall anxiety. It wouldn't be a stretch to call it an antidepressant. I just feel better, healthier.

Incidentally, I've also been drinking a raw juice every day. I do two apples, about 14 grams of raw beet, maybe six small carrots, ginger if I have it, turmeric, and the juice of a whole lime.

Long story short, I feel like I have super powers. I'm more productive, I'm sleeping better, probably because I'm breathing better, and just overall I have a sense of general well being.

Really thinking about quitting smoking for the first time in 30 years. I don't think I need it anymore. Just thought I'd share with y'all.

Your skin color is your uniform.

Not literally of course, there's very few wooden bridges these days. I was pissed at the owner of the place I worked at, and I accidentally sent a text I shouldn't have.

Let me unpack this a bit. So I got a text with this week's schedule. She's been starving me out there for a couple weeks and I only had two days. I accidentally told her to shove those two days up her ass. That's how I really felt, but I didn't mean to send that text. I'm a little neurotic, so sometimes I'll write out a text with what I want to say but then think better of it and delete it. Maybe I shouldn't do that, or maybe I should just say what I want. I dunno. I have another job, so it's fine sort of. It was good money though, and it was off the books.

I'm feeling pretty angry about the whole situation though, and I couldn't sleep last night. Kinda need every dollar I can make right now. It is what it is.

Not sure if I shared this with y'all. I'm going through some old photos and throwing out the garbage. Saw this and it made me smile, hopefully it makes you smile too.

Uncle Tim was married to my mom's sister. Between the mid 70's and the late 80's they had seven kids, six girls and one boy, and they lived in Miami. Now something happened in the mid 90's that didn't sit quite right with Tim. I didn't know about this incident until I was much older, and it was relayed to me by another Uncle.

The story goes that his oldest daughter started dating a spade. So Uncle Tim went to my other uncle for some help. Tim's plan was that they kill the nigger and dump his body in a canal. He was an avid collector of guns his whole life, and he was built like a brick shit house. He definitely had the means. My other uncle talked him out of it, so instead Tim bought ten acres of land in north Florida bout an hour from where I live now. I still go past the place sometimes when I take a drive to clear my head.

Tim was one of those "crazy conspiracy theorists". He was the first to get me thinking about all that, specifically the Clinton crime family, ruby ridge, and Waco. It was policy in my family that you never visit unannounced unless you wanted eight rifles pointed at you.

They eventually sold the farm and moved further away from people, wound up in a small town in bum fuck nowhere Kansas. All his daughters married White men from their Latin Catholic Church and had many kids. Shit my one cousin just had her 9th.

Yeah, we all thought he was crazy growing up. He wouldn't let his kids watch anything made by Disney, his daughters all dressed in ankle length skirts, ultra conservative. Turns out Tim had shit all the way figured out.

I don't know why I was thinking about him today, but hindsight is 20/20. That was one based bastard. RIP Uncle Tim, you fuckin earned it.

Hell with tacos, margaritas, and refried beaners. I'll take Jim Bowie and Davey Crockett.

Better than niggers I guess. I'll know if they're Mexican tomorrow if the air is polluted by mariachi and molta. They sound Colombian or Venezuelan. Too dark to be from Argentina.

It's a couple with three kids, so at least there's a family unit. No moving truck, just a squad of beat up f150's.

There goes the neighborhood, I knew I shouldn't have resigned the lease agreement.

Had a nigger bitch come into the place I work last night. It's a deli, we make sandwiches and there's a beer only bar in the back.
First Question: Do y'all take EBT?
I tell her no, we only take cash and local checks.
Second Question: Does the check have to be valid?
Me, verbatim: Fucking Yes?
She tells me she was just fuckin with me and she "don't eain fucks wit EBT" and proceeded to pull some damp mother fuckin titty money out of her bra.
I take her fuckin bra stash titty cash, cause fuck it let's get this god damn lunatic the fuck out of here and get on with the night, but fuckin god damn. That's a new one for me bros.
Does the check have to be valid? I'm at a loss. It's typical nigger behavior, I know, but fuck that's absurd.

So no one told you kikes were gonna be this way 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
You're fat, you're broke, your trans and everything is gay
Seems like you're always next to something queer
They put hormones in your water, food, and even your beer!